It’s 3am – August 7.

It’s 3:25am. It is silent. I should be happy about this but I can’t sleep. I haven’t written in over a week which completely stresses me out. I have 300 blogs posts to write and I have been underground for a month preparing for a new addition to my blog….

On another note, these are my thoughts

1. One week before the kids get home. Holy fuck. Where did the summer go?

2. It is 6 months before my 40th birthday. Am I supposed to be planning something now? What do I want to do ? I always thought I would be at the Ashram in Cali for 7 days starving and hiking. Not sure I want to spend my 40th alone. Although I need something to kick these 10 lbs. I haven’t stopped eating and drinking ALL SUMMER! WTF.

3. Doggie boot camp is the best thing I ever did. I am writing about my dog whisperer and his powers. I AM IN LOVE WITH HIM. FOR REAL. Look for it in September.

4. I still haven’t written my Maine article. Is it too late? Are we camped out? Ready to send their laundry out?

5. Waze is the best nav app ever. Seriously obsessed with it.

6. Why is there an address in Short Hills that is 236 1/2? Does someone live in a shed on the property?

7. If you ever go to Riveria Maya and stay at Rosewood Mayakoba, please bring me home their shower caps. They are the best shower caps ever. I snagged like 10 of them and I am officially out! Help!

8. I was driving in the other day and Brian Wilson came on (remember that song from Barenaked Ladies?)

and all of a sudden I found myself screaming the song out loud. People who passed me def thought I was nuts but in case you were one of them, I just wanted to let you know I am okay with it.

9. I am trying to make a list of everything I want to do before I am 40 (in case I don’t make it, life is weird like that..I am not a Debbie Downer but life is fucked up). Did I tell you I know I will die at 12:34? I swear. Every time I look at the clock it is 12:34. It is definitely my time of death. Mark my words. It is okay to talk about death. we all die. I just hope not before 40… I need to dance on a bar once more! That’s really all I want I think… to dance on a bar…

10. Does anyone have a really good psychic?

11. Love that Syracuse was named top party school this year. I still miss Harry’s…I do have one call out. How come we used to get DECKED to go to a hole in the wall? like to the NINES!

12. Beautycounter finally launched their cosmetic line. I am super psyched! just ordered samples, need to have a party in September!

13. Are you watching The Leftovers? I can’t decide if I like the show or hate it. I must like it if I keep watching it, right? It’s so bizarre..

14. Is anyone else up?

15. One of my favorite guests ever on Howard was Scott Baio. I was so psyched they replayed it this morning. If you have some time, please listen to it, it’s pretty great! The best part is the Bob Dylan story. Don’t know it? I have time…

Scott met this girl who, on a scale of 1-10, was a 15. Total knockout. She was around 23, 24 or 25ish. He hadn’t seen her in a couple of months and he was with her driving on Laurel Canyon. Lay Lady Lay came on the radio and he said, “Oh wow I haven’t heard this song in so long, I love this song.” She said, “Who is this?” Scott said, “It’s Bob Dylan”  She said, Who’s that?”  Scott said (in awe) Who’s Bob Dylan?”  She said, “OH, I know who he is, he played with The Who, right?”  No joke, Scott stops the car and says GET OUT and she got out! He never saw her again.  You can listen here: It sounds better when he tells the story but it’s a good one.

SCOTT BAIO ON HOWARD STERN

16. Please no more emails YET about soccer, basketball, hebrew school, etc. I AM NOT READY!

17. I think I need a dieters anonymous help group.

18. Oh no, I hear the dog. mother fucker.

xx